Something Different....

Hi my lovelies!
This week I'm holding off from my Huda Beauty Sunday Swatches series despite having half-prepped the Pink Edition post (and swatch video) already. The reason I decided to take a break this week is because I'm plugging a campaign I was asked to be a part of by L'Oreal and also sharing what I felt!
Read on for my thoughts and feelings I felt with my first campaign which is small in the grand scheme of things but big for me. I don't usually have deep, personal toned blog posts as blogging for me these days is about escaping from the day to day activities and stresses of life and being a mother to a boisterous toddler, so blogging is where I escape into my fanciful world of talking all things magical, sparkly and pretty.
The campaign I was asked to be a part of was for L'Oreal's #MatteAddiction campaign which is part of their Color Riche range. It isn't a liquid lipstick like I've been obsessed with and blogging about of late, it's a standard original twist up bullet type lipstick that I found myself feeling guilty about as I have a lot of neglected bullet lipsticks that I was so obsessed with just a couple years back (on this same blog!).
When I was asked to be a part of the campaign I felt the nervous excitement you rarely feel unless you really really want/like something and I also felt like it was too good to be true.
Of course through blogging over the years I've been sent products from L'Oreal themselves to more premium beauty brands, but never have I been asked to have my face on a campaign and this may shock my readers, but I have also never been paid for any brands I have reviewed or featured on my blog so far.
In the 6+ years I've been blogging this is a first for me to actually have my face in a campaign for a world renown brand and although this campaign is one of the smaller campaigns out of all of L'Oreal's, for me it's a big deal for two reasons:
1) I'm of course a "hijabi" (someone who wears a scarf) and opportunities like this have been so rare in the past, (although I'm dubbing this year the year of the hijabis already.. take that Trump!) so it's quite a big deal to be representing a hijabi in the campaign.
2) I've been blogging for this many years as an unpaid hobby more than anything and it was a huge opportunity for me that took me by surprise and also made me feel proud to have been consistently working hard on my posts since I first started my blog in 2010.. and kept pretty true to why I started it in the first place (see first post here).

After the initial excitement and nervousness passed (yes it took a while), I talked about it with two close friends and my mum. I then thought about the campaign a bit deeper and what I was representing and whether I should do it or not as it could be something seen as provocative on a large scale if executed in a way I wasn't in control of.
I thought about my own current videos on YouTube and asked myself what would be so different to those.  Of course there was no difference really, as I swatch lipsticks on my channel, and this would just be one lipstick.
But what it made me think of was my intentions which I'm ever aware of in a superficial world of blogging and being famous and liked.
Genuinely, of course for future job prospects this was a no brainer; working with a huge world renown brand could open plenty of doors for me. But in terms of challenging my integrity and possibly faith, I had to question myself and frequently did, much to my friends annoyances probably lol.
So here is what I realised.
Intentions
My intentions for starting my blog were to keep a kind of diary of pretty make up things I purchased as a beauty crazed retail employee at the time. Blogging also filled a gap when I'd be bored and as a make up obsessed girl not many colleagues and friends at the time understood why I was rambling on about beauty products or why I put a full face of makeup on purely to put up on the internet and then take it off again straight after.
As for my reasons/intentions for make up looks, they were to: a) practice my makeup skills and explore new techniques before and after I attended a makeup course (also shared and documented on this blog) b) share my makeup skills and inspire my readers to try new styles and products that I used c) help people make informed decisions about whether a product is worth it or not through reviews of someone who's worked in both retail and freelance.
Fast forward to 2017 and no one really thinks twice about bloggers putting on makeup then taking it off, or owning copious amounts of beauty products.. it's the norm now for internet personalities, but not of course the average person/consumer.
My intentions were never to make money from what started as a hobby, and it may sound crazy but plenty of times I've turned down or straight up not replied to (usually) less famous brands that offer either payment or products; because I felt wary that if a brand is offering up front payment, they expect a glowing review or x amount of posts, which is not my thing at all, and trust me I'm not in any position to turn down money or products as much as the next person!
My point is, I only accept or request products from brands I actually want to try out or know I will love and whilst it sounds crazy to decline money/products, I prefer to have my readers/followers trust my view as this beauty industry can be very misleading and seems like it's not getting any better.
Integrity
Now back to the campaign; I wondered if it would mean I've lost integrity to accept this offer but when I questioned myself on these points, I found my answer:
1) is it a brand you dislike? 
No. As much as there are views on big companies like L'Oreal, I have my own views on certain politics and the long and the short of it is: I have no issue with them.
2) is it a product you dislike? 
No. Whilst I'm more of a liquid lipstick user these days, I know I've been obsessed with bullet lipsticks in the past and was willing to try this one out especially as it's matte (I don't do glosses!)
3) is it a shade you won't wear? 
I actually requested if I could choose a colour as not all shades (e.g. nudes) would suit my dark lips and thankfully a nude pink (shade 633 "Moka Chic") was my shade and I couldn't have been more happier.
4) if you were paid or not paid for this, would it change your view?
Again, the answer is no. As with some products on my blog, I don't know in advance if I will be obsessed with the product or feel like it's not suited for me, but as I had already tried the L'Oreal Color Riche lipstick from a swatch gallery project in 2015, and liked how easy the lipsticks were to take off at the time, I figured I would happily endorse this.
Faith
From a faith point of view, I again questioned myself and intentions:
1) was it contradicting my faith?
Blogging or putting makeup looks on the internet could be seen as contradictory to modesty/faith in itself, but for me, my intentions have never been to show off or flaunt, it's genuinely been to inspire and help other females who struggle with makeup, as so many do and personally I believe make up isn't forbidden in my religion as long as your intention is correct.
Initially, there was a plan to kiss the camera and I worried about looking over provocative and coming on to potentially the whole world and that would contradict modesty which is what the hijab represents, even if it was a cute gesture and not intended that way.  Thankfully this wasn't part of the end video and it was just me applying lipstick on myself in a mirror and smiling as you can see in the campaign.
It did make me question my current videos though, and whilst I make funny and sometimes pouty faces, it's usually to break up from the "smiley smiley" faces of the video that my face actually gets tired of at times when filming.
In terms of my intentions behind doing swatch videos and posts on my blog these days, they are purely for females to make informed decisions on whether a certain lipstick is worth spending money on if you have a similar skintone or lip tone to me (particularly when true swatches or reviews are not always available on a brand).
As a fairly savvy shopper, I personally have always found it helpful to read reviews of anything before I purchase something, but find it highly helpful when I find girls with similar lip or skin tones to me to make a better decision.
2) was I doing it for fame?
The answer was no. If I gained or lost followers from this campaign, it wouldn't affect my life massively, I would still continue blogging as it's my hobby and whilst it's sometimes nice to be recognised by my face in random parts of London, I much prefer people recognising me for blogging about what I'm passionate and experienced in and it helping them make informed decisions on their purchases.
So!
What I feel like I'm trying to say in this rambly post, is that I plan to stay true to myself by blogging about what I love and prefer being trusted for my honest reviews and thoughts on products, so thank you for continually sending me nice messages that make me feel like it's worth all the hard unpaid work haha!
Now that that's all off my chest, I hope you like my cameo in the #MatteAddiction campaign below and want to thank you all for your support over the years from little ol' me as a "micro influencer" who is just as obsessed about pretty things and looking nice as much as the next girl.

P.S. If you love the shade I'm wearing (633 Moka Chic), you can buy it here and let me know what you think!