Self Love Saturday

Saturday 17 February 2018

With every year that passes I realise I grow a stronger sense of self and even though I'm sure I have much to learn still, this year I'll be turning 30 in May and it's got me thinking and looking forward to the next decade for various reasons!

This isn't my usual type of beauty post, but after Valentine's Day this week and finding out February 15th is apparently being Singles Awareness Day, I thought about where I am right now and how I felt in terms of "love".

Truth be told, at this particular point in my life I feel like loving myself is the most important thing, mostly because being a mum of an almost 4 year old who isn't in full time school is extremely exhausting and we all know that happy mum = happy child, so I feel like self-love is oh so important.

It's easy to forget your own happiness as a mother as you're constantly trying to prevent the next melt down from your child, juggle work commitments, housework and more and if there's anything I've learned as I've gotten closer to the end of my 20s, it's that everyone's "test" is different; one woman's test could be a breeze to another woman and vice versa.

So this got me thinking about self love and things I do to keep myself happy. I wanted to make a small list of things I do and also asked you guys on instagram too what actions/things you do for self love (as I know a lot of you are mums too, like me!) and these were some of the responses:

medora_wholesaleI love a good home pamper session...nowadays I doze off before my kids lol so my night care routine gets missed! Xx
damzelinthisdressMine is getting my hair blow dried! Especially because I’m so bad at doing my own hair and hate washing it lol. Plus the head massage always feels heavenly 
beautyandtheskin_my favourite thing to do is pop on a lovely mask and just chill ๐Ÿ‘Œ
_jxbabeauty my self love practices are probably masking or going for a long walk๐Ÿ™ˆ
aminaali_muaDefinitely a good pamper or just time to myself! X
umm.adam15An extra 5 minute lie in is defo my idea of self love lol
sheworeasareeI like to take one night out to deep cleanse and mask my skin, because mum life doesn't allow more than a splash of water and moisturiser most days ๐Ÿ˜‚
humy.90Don’t have any lol busy Mum life very rarely would have a pampering bath xXx
makeupbysajeedaHaving time to pamper myself and use those creams/masks I have been saving for a special treat and just give myself a good face massage with my yu ling roller. I guess it’s all about having time to look after oneself and totally focus on the ritual of it all. I really enjoy therapie Himalayan detox salts the fragrance reminds me of a spa and it automatically calms me.
beautyby.dka good pamper which includes masking, painting my nails etc is my fave self love practices
thelifeofaaliyahCandlelit bath most evenings. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ ๐Ÿ”ฅ
vanillaandblushMasking, reading a book while sipping tea, chatting with friends xx
sabae99Face masks of course!! ☺
shafjay.786getting the girls in my room and trying out face masks. ๐Ÿ˜‰leaves the skin so soft and smooth
mavhaqA pamper session lol and shopping๐Ÿ˜œ

It's quite interesting to see what each woman does as an action of self-love as we're all at different stages of our lives which tends to reflect our self indulgences.
It's exhausting to juggle many things especially when kids are involved but I do believe spending even just a little time to yourself is important, so here are some ideas if you're feeling like you're in need of a little TLC, including my own favourites:

1) Skincare - Masks!

Unsurprisingly, most of the comments above from my Instagram post mentioned masks, which seems to be the easiest self indulgent treat us women can give ourselves.
I noticed that a lot of my followers on Instagram are around my age range and also obsessed with skincare and I am here for it! 
In my early 20s I had a basic skincare routine but never really masked, but at my mid to late 20s I upgraded this by adding in masks into my routine, which I try to do twice a week now and have toyed with the idea of a #MaskWithSaf Instagram Live for a while now, to encourage some much needed self love for us all!
There's something about slapping on a mask at the end (or middle!) of a tiring week that nothing beats. The feeling of baby soft/clear/brighter looking facial skin is something every woman has to appreciate and it can lift the spirits, even if it is just short lived. The point is, it's time you've taken to make yourself feel good.
Having amazing feeling skin really can lift moods.

2) At home pamper sessions

Seeing as a lot of the commenters seemed to be from mums, it makes sense that we tend to have at home pamper sessions as the thought of bringing a child to a salon is quite frankly the idea of a nightmare for many women and also counter-productive; I mean there's only so much toys/snacks/ipad can distract them, before the ticking timebomb goes off (I know all you mums can relate!), so salon treatments are best if you actually are lucky enough to get babysitting.

Another at-home pamper session I love doing is playing with makeup or dolling myself up especially if I'm going out for a meal with friends. Putting makeup on can really change a mood, because if you look pretty, you feel pretty and vice versa. It's one of the reasons I love putting makeup on people too, the confidence boost in that alone is amazing.

Also, as some of the comments above suggested, taking a nice candlelit bath, massage rollers or having your favourite spa scents waft around can really help unwind. I know I personally am a sensual person so any kind of spa scent will really help calm/soothe nerves, but I also love a good candle and have done for years; dim lighting and nice scents hits two senses in one go, which makes it more indulgent.
Luxury baths are something I don't do as often as I'd like in all honesty, but more of an emergency stress relief situation and usually involves unplugging from the internet for a couple hours (which is almost impossible to do when you're a blogger!).

3) Outdoor pamper sessions

If you're kid free or lucky enough to get babysitting, then salons and spas are the next step up as it tends to be way nicer to have someone else do all the hard work for example hair cutting/blowdrying, masks/massages etc.
These for me are real treats and happen once in a blue moon but make it all the more special.

4) looking after your health 

Surprisingly, when most of us think about self love, we think about pampering, but for me self love is also looking after my health; this could be either dietary (thankfully I think studying nutrition helps me there sometimes), but also mental health.
It's good to try and feel in tune with your body and try and see if you can get a check up every now and then.
Health is one of the most important things for me and my son and includes mental health too, which is why it's important to take time out to go for a walk, cook or simply have a break with a cup of tea and a quiet time with a book or watch your favourite tv programme.
Being stressed longterm isn't healthy and will impact the body/mind, so every now and then I try to take time to switch off although it's sometimes impossible!

5) Prettifying your environment/home

This one is a personal one for me, but lately whenever I come across a nice bunch of flowers I like to buy it for myself/my home because not only is it a reminder that you can totally buy flowers yourself and not wait for someone to do so, but are they also pretty, smell nice and are amazing to watch bloom (peonies are so beautiful to watch!)
I also love to buy little bits and bobs for the home (usually candles or anything soft/sparkly or rose gold) and sometimes trawl through TK Maxx or Primark to find those gems that I can add to my home and look at and feel a sense of well being.

6) Treat Yo'self

Whilst on the topic of buying, retail therapy is a real thing and as long as you don't go overboard, once in a while it's great to treat yourself to something you need (or just want), because.. why not!
It's so easy to feel guilty as a mum to spend on yourself, or if you're sensibly saving for something like a holiday/home etc, but personally I like to have an indulgent moment every now and then where I eat somewhere really special or buy an item of beauty/clothing that I know I'll use and be happy to do so.
We all have our indulgences, so whether it's a fashion/beauty item or simply dining out a bit more lavishly, it's nice to give in and have a break sometimes, than worry too much.

7) Socialise

Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, I honestly believe a certain level of human interaction is necessary to help you feel better about yourself and is a form of self love in a different way.
I've personally always craved social interaction, so even talking to my lovely followers online gives me a sense of wellbeing as a lot of mums just like me are going through the same thing with their children or lives and it's nice to be able to relate/share solutions.
Meeting in person is always much more warmer and nicer than talking online, so even though it can be daunting or exhausting to think about meeting up, I know that I'll feel better after and try and push myself to make time.

8) Organising

This one I only recently appreciated as I never thought it would be applicable to me, but buying a planner is such a great way to organise thoughts/to-do's/life plans and again, I cannot recommend the happiness planner enough (or an islamic version of it like this one which is even more amazing if you're Muslim as it has the spiritual/family/charity element).
These planners also help you think of things to be grateful for which a lot of us forget to do on a daily basis, which helps think a lot more positively in general.

9) positive self talk

Nobody's life is perfect and it's the tests we go through that define us and make us stronger/learn about ourselves, so planners like the ones above are a good reminder of what we're able to achieve when we look back, but also saying it out loud can help reinforce something you're nervous/unsure about (even if you feel crazy talking out loud to yourself!).

Just simply saying something like "I've got this/I can do this!" is enough to give you a little confidence boost (I mean I know I say this to my son enough despite him saying he can't and then having a melt down) but why not give ourself some positive affirmations too once in a while?
Definitely Google some more positive affirmations or maybe print some/find cute ones in stationary shops and stick them in places you will constantly look (mirrors, near clocks or even your screensaver). Our minds are so powerful we don't realise how much it takes in and affects us without realising, so I believe surrounding ourselves with positivity in all forms is best for our wellbeing.

I know this post may not be relevant to all and I'm no life coach but these are a few thing I do/have done to feel better and would love to encourage/inspire some of you to do!

Let me know if you have any further things to add in the comments below for anyone that reads this and wants more ideas too ๐Ÿ’—
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  1. Wow this post is super how you explain yourself and I feel like I’m reading a book ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ
    Definitely face masks and hair masks for me ..if I’m lucky once a week I go swimming this post can’t wait for more like these from you ..❤️

    1. Aw thank you lovely!! Yes exercise is a great way to look after your health and definitely gives a boost of endorphins/feel good hormones! <3

  2. You put my insta comment in your blog! Love your blogs hun xx I was reading it when I got to the masks I stopped. Went and put a mask on then continued reading. Absolutely loved this blogpost I can relate to it a lot. Keep it up Gurl love ya xXx

    1. aww babe thank you and yessss I'm sooo glad you did that!! I hope you can join me on instagram lives hopefully if I can keep up with them regularly and start a mask movement! <3 <3

  3. Just grabbed a chance to read this lovely blog and loved it!!! Every point I could relate to and felt like you wrote this for me lol!!

    Completely agree with your health tips-I joined Slimming World in Oct and Alhamdulillah I'm now nearly 2.5 stones lighter. Really helps when I'm interacting with kids as I'm not gasping for breath like before lol.

    And you will find once your munchkin starts will find great friends in other mums and its fab to go round to each others for a quick brew or lunch.

    Shabana @medora_wholesale xxx

    1. aww bless you babe, I guess we really are all in the same boat!!

      That's so amazing you did that, I feel sluggish when I over eat sometimes and its known that exercise also helps release happy hormones although I don't do enough myself as I feel like I'm constantly running after my LO!

      Awwww bless you, I really hope I do find some similar minded mummy friends, would love to have little play dates haha xx

  4. Thank you for sharing I can relate to so many of that being a mom of 6 my self love is when I go on a girls night out that is all about me and my girls and I feel free no tension nothing just unwind me and my friends and then I come home and well you know the rest ๐Ÿ˜‚❤️

    1. ahhhh mimi yessss, let your hair (or hijab!) down with your girls haha!

      yess defo, that is sooo necessary too, that's what I feel when I come back from blogging events I think!

  5. I have started using face masks for some "me" time. After watching you on IG live. I love using L'oreal pure clay masks! And I couldn't agree more as a mother myself it's so important to have a bit of time to ourselves. For my self love; i love catching up with old friends or going shopping and pampering myself, it relives any stress/tension that i may have.

    1. aww bless you babe, yesss it's defo sooo important! After all if we can't love ourselves a little how are we supposed to show/teach our little ones :D

  6. Loved this post Safiyah, its reminding me of all the things I need to do! Self love is so important in general but when you become a mum I think justvhabing that time to yourself is even more important. Definitely needdsome retail therapy too xxx amina xxx

    1. haha ahhh retail therapy is even more rewarding when you're a mum don't you think! Although it sometimes can be riddled with guilt that I am learning to ignore so I can just enjoy a treat now and then :D

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  8. Thanks for this post. You know I've not really had time to look after myself. I've let myself go, especially since I've had a baby lol. So thanks for this post, very helpful. I'm now going to put on my Himalayan face mask from body shop and chill. X


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